Great Fundraisers Are Great Listeners
Avoid Listening ‘AGAINST’ Your Speaker

By Jeffrey D. Byrne, President & CEO
Jeffrey Byrne & Associates, Inc.

This month, our firm worked with Marty Stanley, President of Dynamic Dialog, to help us improve our communication and learn what makes us more effective as consultants. Marty is a professional coach and she talked about listening FOR and listening AGAINST your speaker.

When you are listening FOR your speaker, according to Marty, you are listening actively, making eye contact, possibly taking brief notes, nodding in affirmation and asking questions or sharing perspective that builds on the speakers’ thoughts and words. I imagined what someone might look like when they are listening AGAINST the speaker: They’re slouched in their chair, arms crossed against their chest; making sideways glances; whispering with their seatmate; or just showing obvious disinterest.

That distinction translates quickly to a group setting. But is it possible that you could – even unintentionally – be listening AGAINST someone when you are with them face to face? Marty’s answer to this question is “Yes.” Here’s how.

You’re meeting with a prospective volunteer or donor. They’re influential in your community, have the potential to contribute significantly to your organization with their time and/or money.
They are at the top of your prospect list.

You are nervous. You want to impress. You’ve planned out your objective for the meeting and have outlined the questions you want to ask and the points you hope to make. You ask question after question. You interrupt. Before she/he is finished with one thought, you cut off the speaker to ask another question. You rush to “the ask”, wanting to get your request out there and get the meeting over with. You’re so focused on formulating your next thought, that you don’t even notice when the speaker pauses to ask you a follow up question.

It’s certainly not the pattern of behavior we want to think of ourselves falling into as fundraising professionals. But I’d be willing to bet that, sometime in our careers, we’ve all committed at least one of these negative listening behaviors.

At Jeffrey Byrne & Associates, our mission is to partner with our clients to help them achieve their fundraising goals. A second, related, goal is to help volunteers and development professionals become GREAT fundraisers.

I believe that to be a great fundraiser, you have to be a good – if not great – listener.

And how can you develop this?

Listen more and talk less. Put your ego in your back pocket. Even if you’re nervous, don’t worry about trying to impress your speaker with how much you know. Ask a lot of questions about them. Good lead-ins might be:

Tell me more about that…?
What did she/he say about that…?
What happened next …?
What made you decide to …?

You get the idea. You can think up your own list of “conversation engagers” that will help you get to know your speaker and involve you in your meeting and their thoughts. The bottom line is: Regardless of who you are meeting with, when you get your speaker talking about him or herself -- when you ask about them -- they will come away from the call feeling much more satisfied and positive about you and your organization than if you had used the time trying to tell them the 50 wonderful things that you are doing to make a difference.

Now that does not mean you should not educate your listeners about your organization and your mission. I’d suggest you use the 80/20 rule. Inform 20 percent of the time and LISTEN the other 80 percent.

And ask yourself: If you have volunteers who are reluctant to go on solicitation calls, how can coaching them on listening style help them overcome their jitters about making an “ask?”

It’s the New Year. Take a short challenge and resolve to be a better listener in the coming months. We’d be interested to hear how using this simple technique improves your donor and volunteer calls.