From Antagonist to Friend

Connie Clark, Of Counsel
Great Lakes Region

Several months ago, while meeting with various staff and volunteers during the early organizational phase of a capital campaign, I asked, “Who does not like your agency?”  I continued by explaining that, ideally, this would be someone of influence in the community, someone who could help or hurt the campaign if he or she spoke to the decision makers of foundations, corporations, or potential donors of larger potential gifts.

Several of those I queried mentioned the same name. For confidentiality, I’ll refer to the individual as “Joe Smith.”

I asked if anyone knew why “Joe” became outwardly cold and unfriendly whenever the agency was mentioned. He had even been known to leave a room when someone brought up the agency in conversation. This told us that something had happened to someone he loved or cared about deeply and, in his eyes, my client had failed him. No one knew why, and all were quite hesitant to approach him regarding the upcoming campaign.

In discussing Joe with the campaign chair, I discovered that the chair was a good friend and had a long-standing relationship with Joe. Since relationships are what can make or break a capital campaign, we agreed the chair would ask Joe if he would at least consider attending the first steering committee meeting so he could be updated on the programs and services of the agency he seemed to be so angry with.

We held our breath, waiting to hear his response. For some reason, perhaps to free himself of his hostility, or to possibly prove to himself that whatever grudge he was holding was justified, he accepted the invitation. The Executive Director and Chair of the Board were amazed he would even consider it.

In the time between the invitation and the steering committee meeting, we took advantage of the opportunity to give him information, via the Chair, regarding the number of individuals served; how the agency has grown in response to genuine need; how for every dollar raised, 82 cents goes into direct client services; and of course, how the project will fill a gap for services greatly needed in Joe’s community and the surrounding counties.

As consultant for the campaign, I was the first person to arrive at the designated meeting place. A man drove up in a large truck and was accompanied by his dog. As a dog lover, I immediately went to the dog after asking permission to greet him. It was granted and, after making a fool of myself with “doggie” talk, the man and I began to chat about our mutual love, care and concern for animals in general.

He also seemed quite interested in my professional background, why I chose to help our client in the small community, and what my role would be in the campaign. I began telling him my personal mission and how it matched the mission of the organization so well, and that our firm believes in building relationships and partnerships with our clients to make them stronger. I noticed he paid very close attention to everything I said, sometimes challenging and asking me the source of my information. Every time I tried to move the discussion to him and why he was involved, he smoothly steered it away. We chatted for over 15 minutes while waiting for the meeting site to be opened, since we were the first to use it that day.

When the Executive Director and Chair drove up, they both gave me puzzled looks. My new friend and I walked in together and he chose to sit down next to me at the table. I had still not been able to find out who my mystery man was, or what his involvement with the agency had been in the past. Right as I began to think I already knew who he was, the Executive Director whispered to me at the coffee pot, “How did you meet Joe? I can’t believe he is talking to you or that he is even here. He usually exudes a foreboding, cold presence around us.”

“We both like dogs,” I responded.

During the presentation, a complete overview of the agency was presented to the committee members. Joe had the most direct and challenging questions. I did not think he was unfriendly, just untrusting. As the meeting progressed, Joe relaxed a bit. When the Chair asked if any member of the steering committee would also like to serve on the prospect committee, I looked at Joe and mentioned he would be a tremendous help due to his past capital campaign experience and his insightful questions. Joe agreed. (I swear I saw the Exec’s eyes open wide before she caught herself.) The Chair thanked Joe and the others, and we moved on with our process.

Joe attended the prospect committee meeting as promised, but brought a very intense attitude. He analyzed every strategy we presented and asked for proof of validity. I got to see the Joe that many seemed intimated by. The Executive Director and I also began to understand from his questions that he had many misconceptions about the organization from either hearsay or a negative experience relayed to him by someone else. We began to understand that Joe is a man who deeply cares for people, animals, and his community, and he demands the best for them.

Joe had met us half-way by coming to the first meeting, and then the second. It was now our job to engage him and develop a positive relationship by giving him the facts and proof that the organization was worthy of his time and talent. We also had to communicate how much we appreciated his input because it was making us aware of perceptions out in the community that we needed to address.

At the beginning of the second steering committee meeting, after the Executive Director and I had once again lavished attention on his dog while having a casual, warm conversation, Joe extended a pledge sheet. On it, he’d written down how he wanted the gift recognized. It was the first pledge from a steering committee member, and it was a naming-level gift.

Oh, how wrong we would have been to take the easy way out and not keep trying to make a supporter and friend of our antagonist. Both the agency and Joe would have lost something very special.